Lately, and I’m not sure why, but an overwhelming, uneasy feeling has come over me. Sometimes at night I lie awake for seemingly no reason at all, thinking about the things that tomorrow has in store. I find this usually happens whenever we move (we are moving at the end of this month) or I become overwhelmed or really, whenever life seems confusing – whenever I don’t know what tomorrow holds (tomorrow meaning, my future). Right now, I have a lot on my mind thinking about mine and Dustin’s future, and during times like these I’m constantly reminded to lean on God. Although I’m usually not a very open person (this is something that I try to work on), I understand the importance of talking with others during times like these when my mind begins to consume my life and my thoughts become uncontrollable.
Recently, I’ve been hearing a lot of positive things about taking with a professional, like a therapist or counselor, whenever we feel overwhelmed. I’ve never been to a therapist or counselor before, and I know that some people find this kind of “self-help” to really bring ease, so last night, I said to Dustin, “What if I went and talked to someone, like a therapist or something about calming my mind?” “Absolutely not,” he replied. “You have the only therapist that you need in this world. God.” And he is so right. The only being that is possible of calming my mind, my thoughts, and my stress is God, and I know that. I guess I just needed reminding of it. I wanted to share this song because it song really helps me let it all go.
“Bring me joy, bring me peace, bring the chance to be free, bring me anything that brings you glory. And I know the’ll be days when this life brings me pain, but if that’s what it takes to praise you, Jesus bring the rain.” I’ll take the rain so long as it’s for Jesus.
The main reason for my racing mind: my future, our future.
For those of you that don’t know much about the process of becoming a Registered Dietitian (what I am working to become), the process isn’t near as easy as you would think. A particular undergrad degree is required (what I am doing right now), in order to even apply for a Dietetic Internship (DI), which is required to even sit for the RD Exam (necessary to become an RD). Oh and I forgot to tell you, snatching a DI is quite competitive. There are only a few places offering them, each usually having only about eight spots (huge, huh?) and most prefer at GPA of 3.7 plus and as much volunteer experience, clinical experience, work experience, student involvement, leadership positions, etc. as possible: easy, right? Not so much.
Over the past year, I’ve been hunting and searching for the places that I want to apply to most (I’ll probably apply to about six), and at the top of my list: Bastyr University, the place is AMAZING. It focuses solely on natural medication: can you imagine anything more perfect for me? I know I sure can’t… but I guess I’m going to have to.
I’ve been speaking back and forth with a Bastyr Advisor this summer, only to have my dreams crushed through one e-mail yesterday afternoon, and the worst part: it’s nothing that I did or didn’t do. Yesterday she told my that my GSU degree didn’t cover the prerequisites that they require. What? So I can graduate from my university with this degree but really it’s missing key classes that I have to have in order to even be looked at? Yep, that’s it. Great.
The only thing I can say now is… all eyes on God, constantly following what it is that He wants me to do. I’ll go wherever He wants me to go, even if it may not be Bastyr or maybeeeeee it is?! It’s all in His hands.